It's not like he asked me every day for the past year, he asked me once, and I did it. By 'not tidied properly' basically, I have all my uni stuff on the floor. Where else am I supposed to put it? I don't have enough room on my desk... it has to go somewhere. Goddamnit he can be such a prick. I have never caused him or anybody ANY trouble. I got straight As all through high school, I got a perfect year 12 score, I got offers for all three unis in the state, I don't drink, I have never been in trouble with the cops (or even at school), I've never hurt anybody, never crashed the car, I played cricket for 7 years for HIM and to make HIM proud of me. He's never told me he's proud of me. I cant remember the last time he told me he loved me actually but I'm sure in some fucked up way he does. I have been as close to the perfect daughter as possible for him. He should be fucking grateful I'm not like my sister who, at 15, drinks, stays out all night, wags school on a weekly basis, is failing all of her subjects, never tries, is more or less an embarrassment to herself and the rest of us. She is always causing somebody trouble, yet I'm the one who's in trouble because I left some books on the floor... My parents almost reward Laura for her terrible behaviour and now I'm being punished for... I don't even know what.
I asked mum if I can stay with her next week until I sort things out. I could live with her and Arved (my step dad)I I guess but
1. There isn't really enough room. The only room they could turn into a bedroom for me wouldn't fit my bed.
2. My mum doesn't make as much money as dad does and I don't want to put her under financial stress. At 19 my parents don't legally have to support me anymore so dad wouldn't have to pay child support. Arved is a great guy but I don't want him to have to support me at all, he's not my dad, I'm not his responsibility.
After next week I'll either have to work something out with mum or beg dad to let me come back, which I don't want to do. I don't know what more I can do to be his ideal daughter, or whatever it is he wants. It just... doesn't make sense.
Dad actually messaged me about this at work last night, saying that he wants me out. I know I shouldn't have my phone on me at work but I do. I had to try so hard not to cry in front of everyone but had to make a few more trips to the bathroom than usual. I cant remember the last time I cried. I think it was when I was 14 and a doctor cut me open without anaesthetic. Wow that hurt... anyway... I'm currently packing up my junk and realising how mu h crap I have. Or rather how much/many anime/books/dvds/cds I have which are going to be interesting to work out once I move.
In other news:
- Bus was 40 minutes late today. Was not impressed.
- Finally found a new forum to join... cos yeah I don't already spend enough time on the internet . I've been looking for a while actually 'cos none of my friends have very similar interests to me so trying to sus out some who do. Well, to be honest, I joined this forum 3 years ago, but on a re-visit yesterday I remembered I had an account. Now I don't look so n00b-ish (although 10 posts in 3 years isn't all that impressive).
- My ticket for Deathstars arrived today =D I was freaking out 'cos it was being posted over from Melbourne wow no the envelope says Brisbane... even further! But yes, whenever I order tickets I'm afraid the postie will steal them =p Which is stupid I know but I paid good money and I want what I paid for. Especially when it's as important (to me) as this is.
- House-sitting with Andrew until Wednesday. Should be interesting. I think I prefer it at my mum's (housesitting) 'cos it's a much bigger place and warmer... and there's no stupid cat.
- Finally got around to withdrawing from old uni course... Should have done that sooner me thinks.
- During my Creative Writing tutorial yesterday (or was it the day before?) I discovered we have to write two short stories which wil be marked and critiqued by the rest of the class before being resubmitted... Oh god I'm doomed. I never let anybody read anything I've written; it's the most painfully embarrassing thing. I'm holding out some slim hope that all stories will be anonymous but I don't think we'll be that lucky. I just have nothing to write about ! First draft (for class to read) is due in 2 weeks... fuuuuuck.
- Finally bought jeans that fit me today. My old blue ones have been far, far too loose on me for months. According to the store I bought my jeans from (skank-ville) I'm an XL. I laughed. I'm a size 10 waist 12-14 length... XL? I wanted to start a debate with the guy at the counter but there was a line... Great way to make girls feel crappy about themselves.
Ok that'll do for now.